I have not had a lot to put in writing about these days as a result of I really feel like all I do is figure on ending the lavatory and bed room (they’re nearly executed, trustworthy!). I’ve completed portray and the ground is done–the final main factor is the lavatory closet. I went to Lowe’s right now to get the provides I must construct the cabinets, and I plan to work on that this week. So I’m hoping that by the brand new 12 months, my “new” bed room and toilet will probably be completed. Finally!

Anyway, I searched my “December 20” footage on my pc (I exploit the Photos app on Mac, which lets you search just about something and pulls up images. I search dates generally to see what footage I’ve taken on this date by the years.)

There are literally a number of enjoyable footage from December 20, however as quickly as I noticed this one, I knew I needed to write about Mark.

My eyes instantly crammed with tears once I noticed him carrying the Santa hat, together with his eyes crinkled on the corners from years of at all times smiling. I keep in mind that day within the hospital; he was passing out sweet to the hospital employees once they got here into his room.

If you have been studying my weblog for a very long time (2013-2014 ish) then you recognize all about Mark. But I wish to write about him right now, as a result of seeing this image makes me miss him. So a lot. So right here is his story, in a really small nutshell…

Mark was one of the crucial particular individuals I’ve ever identified. And sadly, I did not get to be very shut with him till the final 4 months of his life; he handed away from lung most cancers in March of 2014.

Mark was a pal of my household for 35 years, and I do not even actually keep in mind *not* figuring out him. My dad owned an auto store once I was a child; it was within the tiny neighborhood of a really small suburb the place we lived. My dad would steadily see a person (Mark, he later discovered) strolling across the neighborhood. He appreciated to gather cans/bottles to get the deposit cash to purchase cigarettes.

My dad talked to him someday and discovered his identify was Mark and he lived in a bunch residence a mile or so away. He was clearly intellectually disabled, which is why he was dwelling within the group residence, however he cherished being round individuals. Mark’s speech was sort of obscure (no less than till you bought to know him higher) and he began calling my dad Reggie. My dad’s identify is Leslie, however when Mark mentioned it, it seemed like Reggie–and that is simply what caught. His identify grew to become Reggie when Mark was round!

My dad began saving cans and bottles for Mark, and he paid him to do odd jobs across the auto store. Mark would have executed it for nothing as a result of he cherished simply being round individuals, however the group residence did not give him an allowance for cigarettes, and his cigarettes had been one thing he actually loved.

Eventually, my dad began selecting him up from the group residence to take him out fishing on the boat (Mark cherished fishing!) and he discovered a bit of bit about Mark’s previous. He had been in some type of accident when he was a kid–I imagine eight years previous, if I keep in mind correctly–where he was hit by a automotive. It was really the accident that brought about his incapacity. I did not study this till the tip of his life; I at all times assumed he was born with particular wants. His mother and father each handed away when he was a child as effectively, and he grew up in an “orphanage” setting; he lived within the group residence his total grownup life.

When my dad discovered that Mark’s birthday was on Halloween, he began selecting him up on Halloween and bringing him to our home for a bit of birthday celebration earlier than we handed out sweet. My dad would make a bit of campfire within the driveway, the place we might sit round and hand out sweet to the trick-or-treaters.

I can not stress sufficient simply how grateful an individual Mark was. He by no means complained about ANYTHING. Even when requested about his preferences, he simply answered, “Oh, any previous factor!”. My mother would ask him what sort of cake he wished for his birthday, and he’d reply, “Oh, any previous cake!”

We would give him a few little gifts–maybe a ball cap or a espresso tumbler (Mark cherished espresso as a lot as cigarettes)–and his face would mild up like he’d simply been informed he gained one million {dollars}. It was so enjoyable to provide him a present as a result of his gratitude was as real because it will get.

I actually began to look ahead to spending Halloween at my mother and father’ home with Mark. I solely noticed him a couple of instances a 12 months, however I knew that when he was round, there was no such factor as disappointment or anxiousness or every other unfavorable feelings. Mark was the happiest particular person I’d ever met and you would *really feel* his happiness within the air round him.

As far as we knew, Mark did not have any household. He’d had a brother, however his brother handed away way back. The girl who runs the group residence informed us that Mark would get SO excited when he knew that “Reggie” was coming to select him up–whether it was for his birthday, or to go fishing, or simply hang around on the home for the day.

In 2013, simply a few weeks after we celebrated Mark’s birthday at my mother and father’ home, my dad informed me devastating information: Mark was identified with Stage 4 lung most cancers and it was terminal–it had unfold to his liver, mind, backbone, and just about in all places. I used to be shocked. I wasn’t very shut with Mark, however like I mentioned, I at all times seemed ahead to seeing him and every time I did, he was so good and refreshing to be round.

Knowing he did not have any household (no less than that I knew of at that time), I instantly wished to do no matter I might to make one of the best of his final days. My mother and father wished to deliver him to their home whereas receiving hospice care, and I cherished that concept.

It was then that we discovered Mark had a nephew, and his nephew could be taking on his medical choices. I used to be so indignant when his nephew selected to have Mark bear chemotherapy and radiation; the LAST factor Mark wished was to be within the hospital. Mark cherished the outside and the hospital was the worst doable place for him to stay out the rest of his life.

I do not wish to write about all of the “unhealthy” stuff, as a result of I’d like this publish to be about Mark’s form soul. But mainly, his nephew (who we would by no means even knew existed within the 35 years my dad had identified Mark!) swooped in and tried to play the loving member of the family doing what was finest for his uncle. I solely met him twice–once within the hospital proper after Mark was identified after which once more on the funeral. He did not go to Mark a single time. But sufficient of that; clearly, I’m very bitter about it!

The very first thing I did once I heard about Mark’s most cancers was publish about it on my weblog. I arrange a PO Box on the publish workplace and requested for individuals to ship him playing cards. I actually cannot even consider the phrases to explain the love I felt for each single one that despatched him a card. I used to be stunned–and so had been the postal workers–at the quantity of playing cards he acquired. I’d cease and decide up his mail each time I visited him within the hospital, after which I’d learn the playing cards to him.

One of the evening nurses took the time to staple all of his playing cards to the curtain round his mattress. Mark would inform the employees, “Look in any respect these people who care about me. I’ve all these people who care about me!” and gesture to all of his playing cards. It was superb to see how a lot his spirits had been lifted when he received a batch of playing cards; despite the fact that Mark was probably the most optimistic particular person I’ve ever identified, he made it clear that he wished to get out of the hospital.

Mark particularly cherished Jerry. One day, once we went to go to, I used to be studying Mark his playing cards and he interrupted me to say that he wished Jerry to learn the playing cards as an alternative of me as a result of Jerry has a pleasant voice. BAHAHA!

I had a heart-to-heart dialog with him someday when simply the 2 of us had been in his room, and we talked about Heaven. He mentioned his brother and his mother and father had been in Heaven–“Home”. He saved referring to Heaven as “HOME Home”–Home is the place you reside, however HOME Home is the place you go while you cross away.

I requested him if he understood that he could be going HOME Home quickly, and he appeared to grasp. I did not wish to deal with him like a baby, however I additionally wished to ensure he knew what was taking place. (With the exception of my dad, individuals tended to deal with him like a baby; however Mark might perceive way more than he was given credit score for.)

We each cried. Seeing Mark cry was one of the crucial heartbreaking moments of my life. He informed me he was scared, and I informed him it was okay to be scared–but that HOME Home was going to be fantastic and he’d be capable of see his brother once more.

I wished Mark to really feel so particular and so cherished till the second he went HOME Home. I requested him what his favourite meals had been or what he’d like me to deliver him. 

He cherished McDonald’s strawberry milkshakes, so I began bringing these steadily. He was used to consuming on the spot espresso, so I assumed I’d spoil him with Starbucks and I introduced him probably the most ridiculous frou-frou espresso drink that Starbucks needed to supply, haha. He requested hush puppies from Long John Silver’s. And Mary Jane candies. I cherished to deliver him issues; I’d learn his playing cards out loud whereas he loved his junk meals.

He was finally moved to a nursing residence. The group residence could not take him again as a result of they weren’t “outfitted” to maintain him there, and his nephew did not wish to take him. His nephew additionally did not need my mother and father taking him, so he was put right into a nursing residence. Mark actually did not prefer it there, and it grew to become his mission to get effectively sufficient to go Home (the group residence).

This is Mark with my dad; my dad visited him a couple of instances every week as effectively.

I’d deliver Noah and Eli with me once I might and so they actually loved seeing Mark, too. One evening at residence, Eli gave me this word:

Isn’t that the sweetest factor ever?!

The radiation and chemo took a toll on him, however they purchased him a bit of extra time. He labored very arduous on his bodily remedy as a result of he wished to go Home so badly. Meanwhile, Mark had been getting some cash right here and there in his playing cards, and I collected it in an envelope for him. When I requested him what he’d love to do with it, he mentioned he wished to have a celebration for all the males within the group home–complete with pizza and cake.

With the blessing of his bodily therapist, Mark was capable of go Home for a celebration (his therapist even got here to assist out–she was superb). We had pizza and cake, and with the leftover cash, I’d gotten a bit of present from Mark for every of the lads. Mark appeared so proud that it was HE who threw the occasion. It was the primary time I’d met the opposite males who lived there, and I might see why Mark wished to be there. They had been particular, too.

I feel I’ll finish Mark’s story there. He declined in a short time after that–it was like he’d completed what he’d labored so arduous for, and he was able to go HOME Home. 

Mark handed away on March 26, 2014. I used to be capable of have a few good moments alone with him the place I used to be capable of say every thing I wished to say to him, and I’m glad that there is not something I want I’d have gotten to say earlier than he handed. I do want that I’d gotten to *actually* know him years earlier, earlier than he was sick–I’d have taken him out to McDonald’s for strawberry milkshakes as soon as every week! That would have been higher than any remedy periods.

While I can not change the previous, I’m very completely satisfied to have gotten to be such a giant a part of Mark’s life when he actually wanted individuals there. He had such a dramatic influence on my life, and in sharing his story, on hundreds of different lives as effectively.

(If you’d wish to learn extra about Mark, listed here are all the posts labeled with Mark)